Carnivorous Snailosaurus, likee ehmagawdd

Snail Peeve #1? Wordstretching.

Wordstretching: The actt of typingg likee this. ehmagawdd. Faabulouss!
(I should put that up on urbandictionary.)

I mean, wtf?!
I first realized that other people notice this too, one day after drama practice, when I was backstage with Alac, Mylinh, Brett, and Juno. I'm not sure if it bugs the heck out of them, but it certainly bugs me.

Alac: Dude, a lot of people from KJH text so weird. They always add an extra letterr to the endd of theirr words. Who actually talks like-e-e-e that-tuh-tuh-tuh?

Fyi, Lady Gaga. Ppppoker face. Jjust ddance. Rrrromance. Pppparazzi.
But we all love her because her songs are so catchy.
However, half the teenage female population is not supposed to follow in her footsteps, then we would all dance around with no pants on... Oh wait, we already do that.
ANYWHO. I think people should be forced to talk like they type. In the privacy of your own room, please say this sentence out loud (Yes, guys too!):

Ohemgee you girliess arre toooo cutee! Hahaa. We soo needd to hangggg outt sometimee, I loverrss youuuuuuu! (Crank that Soulja boy, YOUUUUU!)

It doesn't make you sound cute. To put it bluntly, it makes you sound stupid.
I'll have to give a point to the male population, I swear I've never heard a single guy wordstretch on a regular basis. Might I ask, doesn't it take longer to type like that, pausing and adding a random letter to the end of each word? Or does it just come naturally? Girls that are prone to wordstretching usually flock together, probably because they're the only ones that can understand each other... literally.
Of course, I confess to committing the occassional wordstretch crime. But it's usually for words that I would actually exaggerate- Try saying these:

Ooookay?
Sooo...
Craaapp.
Whaaaaat?!
Ooh, shiinyy.
And the greatest of all...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Those make sense, it's for emphasis, people!

And one more thing- A number of my friends actually do this. Haha. So really, no offense (or as least as you can possibly take) to you guys, you're all wonderful people... Just, please, don't wordstretch every other word.
My rant is now closing to an end. This was a very random post indeed, but it's just one of those things you've always wanted to announce to the public. My next post? About Snailosaurus mating calls. Lmao. Yes, mating calls... you know you want to read it.

(Thanks Alac, plus Mylinh/Brett/Juno)